When a young person goes off to join the military, whether the Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, or some foreign army, there is a direct impact on the whole family. This idea is usually ignored and the person is told to just think about themselves and what they want.
In Zechariah 12:9 there is quite a different statement. God declares that the whole family of the military member that joins up with those that go to remove Jerusalem and the Jewish people that have reassembled there will be exterminated forever. In other words, anybody in the military that has a family back home is not only going to be slaughtered on that date, but the whole rest of their family is going to be exterminated as well.
God does judge each individual person for what they do and have done. This does not mean that there are not implications and a direct influence that is not reflected on the whole family. A family is identified and known by its members. Just because a member in the family does not want to identify with his family, or feels like an outsider, does not make it so.
Being a child of God means that we must learn to think as our adoptive Father. God established the family unit, and it is the only way to properly nourish and train children. Leaving the care of children to the government only creates a subversive military unit. This has been proven over and again throughout history. Children have to be formally taught that they are part of a family unit, and that their every choice directly reflects upon the name of the family. There is a whole lot more to think about than just how they feel about something or what they want. Fulfillment comes from fulfilling the requirements and obligations of being part of a family, and that family part of a specific society.
There is only one area provided for as an exception to the rule. That one area has to do with God. When a family is corrupt and evil, when one becomes a child of God, that person must begin to make choices and taking a stand. That person must stand for righteousness. That person still has to work within the confines of the family, and the society that the family belongs to, but that person needs to face the reality that they may become expelled. When things are going right, the family will convert as well, and they will establish a new and better reputation. However there are times, when a person must identify with church, and its family of people, and leave behind the family and friends they were born into.
As Christians, we cannot go along with the world’s teaching that everyone should follow their own heart. There is a whole lot more to life and being responsible family members. We cannot just think about whether or not a decision is right and proper, or whether a decision makes us happy, we need to take thought about the family, our greater family impact, and the reflection on the family of God. When our decisions go against these basic units, this foundation in our life, we not only bring evil upon ourselves, but there is a blotch and sentence hung over our true friends and family.